The US is not
thrilled that the Pakistani military has ousted an arguably filthy,
corrupt and evil government. (The second most corrupt on Earth, according
Give 'Im Some Ritalin!
Never mind that the Pakistani citizens
are behind this, that the military has no plans to remain permanently in
power, or that things actually seem to be improving there already. The
US wants things to change. Sound familiar? Remember Cuba in the 1950s?
Why do we continue to try to get involved
with other nations' domestic policies when our own is so demonstrably bad,
and when, whenever we do, we always seem to make a bigger mess of things
than when we stepped in?
A chimpanzee, which apparently
has bitten some people, is the subject of a custody
dispute in California. (What other state would be a candidate for something
Où Est le Boeuf?
Surprisingly, it's not Michael Jackson's
Since the UK cannot actually prove
that the source of bovine spongiform encephalitis, A.K.A. BSE, A.K.A. Mad
Cow Disease, has actually been eliminated from its food supply, the French,
quite logically, do not want any British beef being imported.
Not Eating Disorders, no...
going to stop the British, though.
In an announcement certain to
soothe the minds of literally tens of... ah, ones of Americans, it has
been revealed that wrestlers (meaning the fake ones, like the Minnesota
have eating disorders.
Hey, it Was Only The One Toilet Plunger Up
The One Guy's Butt... And The Mop Handle... And
There is actually research being conducted
along these lines. Not surprisingly that research is happening at Arizona
State University, famous for the awe-inspiring insobriety of its student
body. It's surely no coincidence that wrestling fans generally aren't capable
of walking straight either, if they are physically over the age of ten.
The UN has been told (by the US)
occurs occasionally in the US.
Don't Ask, Don't Tell
This is of course not news to any nonwhite
ever arrested by New York City or Los Angeles police, which arrestees are
also not subjected to browbeating interrogations, near-complete
suspension of civil rights, public humiliation and noncompensated time
off work for false jailing.
An Atlanta man is suing everybody.
He was wrongfully
arrested for desertion by the Marine Corps, wrongfully held in military
custody for over a month and, since that obviously was not enough, sexually
assaulted by a fellow inmate during that time.
Of course Marine initiation ceremonies,
as is now known, completely redefine the term "Gomer pile". But sorry,
GI! This particular man doesn't polish his rifle that way, wink