|The weird and dumb, or, sliced worst on wry -- part of this balanced breakfast!|
This edition: We were never imperialist... JonBenet still garners commentary... Tobacco walloped in Florida... We'll actually miss you, Liddy... Tony Blair likes Chinese... Free to sue! ... Columbine,. shootings, violence in schools, witch hunts and parental neglect... AOL supports ant-gay violence... No, you don't actually own your pets... Poisonous LA... A cure for rape... Colorado's still full of loonies... It wasn't the killer's fault... Isn't it blasphemous to cancel the Madonna? ... Wild and woolly in Siberia... Shocking radiation/cancer link... Encyclopedia Titanica... Warm, fuzzy Al... Pat's still insane... Unripe sucker-pluckers... Bush (W) hacked... Wal-Mart, stay here...
|"Manifest Destiny" Doesn't Mean Other
The US scattered nukes in 27 nations during the Cold War.Maybe it Was Her Ghost
Someone wrote a message on JonBenet Ramsey's grave. It might be true, but still, come on, folks. Let the dead take care of their own -- we have some murderers to rein in.Free Money! Free Money! ...Sort Of
The tobacco companies lost bigtime in Florida. They may have to pay out five hundred billion dollars to class action plaintiffs, none of whom are apparently willing to take responsibility for their own actions or their health.Darn It! Now We're Down To a Cokehead, a Nut, and the Best of the Lot, but Not the one Likely to Get the Nomination
Liddy Dole dropped out of the Repiglican race for President. This leaves us with yet another of the Bush clan, Steve Forbes, and John McCain, who this publisher believes should get the bid, as he is clearly the best man to emerge from that party since... well, since before Reagan, that's for certain.Blair? Which?
Tony Blair thinks China needs to focus more on human rights.OK, So They're Not All Bad
A man who was wrongfully jailed and held on death row for 15 years -- he was innocent -- is suing those responsible for his jailing. This publisher sincerely hopes he wins.
|You Must be F---ing Kidding|
|Shooting Your Mouth Off is Bad if You're
Whether he meant to carry through or not, a 17-year-old senior at Columbine High School has been arrested and held on a half-million dollar bond for, evidently, making the comment that he'd like to finish the job started by Harris and Klebold last year.Meanwhile, it's All The Kids' Responsibility
Bill Clinton has urged students to keep schools safe.Speaking of "Not My Fault"
Sure enough the litigiousness of boomers which refuse to take personal responsibility for their actions has reared its head again, as though that's news. Parents of kids who were in the Columbine disaster are suing everyone, including each other.Hey, Let's Export Them!
In some countries, murderous children are quite in vogue.Slime
AOL likes gay bashers.Another Brick In the PC Wall
If you have a pet, likely you think, as I do, that you are its owner. Well, not according to some loonies in -- surprise! -- San Francisco.Heck With 'Em, They're Just Kids
In spite of the fact it's sitting on a field known to emit toxic gas, Los Angeles will complete construction on a new high school.Do It Muslim Style
Four girls, from Wisconsin as it happens, were raped repeatedly over two weeks in Michigan, and then, because they're material witnesses, held in the same detention facility as their assailants. that last part, at least, has changed.Oh Brother
An eleven-year-old Swiss boy, whose parents aren't US citizens, is in deep trouble in Coloroado. A busybody neighbor claims he fondled his 5-year-old sister.When in Doubt, Blame the Net
Liam Youens, obsessed with Amy Boyer, published his intentions to kill her on the Net for a couple years before he did it.I'll be Mailing Elephant Dung With It
In another attempt to blur the distinction between government and church -- specifically a very narrow Christian perspective -- the US Postal Service has released another madonna stamp, and we don't mean the aging singer.
|Spare Ribs That'll Tip Your Car Over
Scientists aren't sure yet what to do with their new toy, a woolly mammoth airlifted from Siberia. There is talk of cloning it, using a modern elephant as a surrogate mamm -- uh, mommy.Time For Another Round of Lawsuits
Guess what? Radiation causes cancer!Millions of Reports Went Unwritten
The Encyclopedia Britannica has gone online for free. Their server choked under the load, preventing unimaginitive and underintelligent schoolchildren the world over from copying article content and pasting it directly into school assignments. Surely some outraged boomer parent will sue because of this.
Al Gore, apparently trying to put up a front of having emotions, wants deadbeat dads to be targeted more thoroughly for prosecution.We Don't Want You In a Three-Way
Pat Buchanan seriously thinks he could win the election if he's permitted to get into a debate with the Reptilian and Hypocrat nominees.Everyone's a Mark
Capitulating once again to rampant commercialism, the FTC is permitting companies to ask personal questions about young -- preteen -- net users, the idea being that they can then get important marketing information.HAR Har Har Har HAR Har Har Har Har!
George "Coke Fiend" Bush's web page was hacked. Bet it was running on an MS server.
|O Pine With Me|
|We Can't Protest Today Because We're Closed
I do not ever want to hear a small business complain about big chain stores running them out of business again.