|The weird and dumb, or, sliced worst on wry -- the Exxon Valdez of news!|
This edition: Badyear? ... At last, a medical information net site... Ramseys continue to cry innocence... Aaron McKinney flashes back... Not always Coca-Cola... Organic (but not blue corn) chips... IRS may simply disappear in 2000... Getting ready in Japan... Getting ready here... Greenspan (surprise!) gloomy... "Stud" England and "Spike" France argue over superior beef... Almost like the contract on America, but not as selfish or vicious... SUV drivers are probably idiots...
|Oh, the Humanity!
One of the Goodyear blimps crashed in Suffield, Ohio. Several hundred nonexistent passengers were not killed in the firey explosion of volatile gases not conatined in the blimp. A memorial service for those not dead will not be held this Sunday. In lieu of no flowers, mourners are asked not to donate money to the nonexistent Suvivors Memorial Fund.Your HMO Won't Cover it, Anyway
The AMA has joined with other organizations in planning to place a health information site online.They're At It Again
|You Must be F---ing Kidding|
|Pretty Darn Good Memory for a Drunk Druggie
Aaron McKinney, one of two worthless piles of prarie flop who beat a gay college student to death, described in no small detail, for over an hour, precisely what happened the night of the killing, even though he was supposed to be drugged out or drunk (or both) while it was going on.The Ever-Spiralling Cost of Good Coke
Coca-Cola's investigating the possibility of putting out a temperature-sensitive vending machine, one which will charge more per cold soft drink as the temperature outside rises.
|PETA Will Surely Protest
IBM has unveiled a chip made partially of organic components, bringing the world closer to the inevitable era when future cyborgs will have destroyed almost all of humainty save one pocket of resistance, which sends a man back in time to protect a single woman, whom he impregnates and whose son is then in need of protection in a second and very lucrative plot.They Didn't Exist then, so I Guess There're No Taxes
The IRS has admitted a problem with 2000 compliance; some of their own machines might think it's 1900, when the IRS didn't exist. Wonder if that'll make them vanish.If You Knew Sushi...
Japan has cautioned its citizens to stockpile a little extra food in advance of the 2000 rollover.Any Day Now...
Watch this space for news about Microslime. The government's expected to release information soon.
Alan Greenspan's once more speaking gloomily of the economy. Seems the only time he's happy is when things are all awry. Let consumers feel a little confidence, let 'em be spending a little, and there's ol' Eeyore Al, assuring us that things'll take a downawrd lurch soon.You Both Suck
Britain and France are arguing now over who produces the most-unsafe beef. Britain charges that French beef contains too much cigarette ash and malodorous, unwashed bodily hair, while France contends that Britain's secretly stuffing its sausages with millions of unused toothbrushes, then tying them off with similarly virgin lengths of dental floss, and you don't want to know where they're putting the toothpaste.Don't Tell the NRA
A consortium of teenagers voted in a manifesto for the 21st century which includes freedom from drugs and violence.I Owe Smiley One
This fun link to an anti-SUV site is truly hilarious and worth a quick surf, if you feel about them as I do -- that they're driven by pinheads, mostly. It came to me by way of a post from a friend on another list.