I came back mostly because of the latest horror being perpetrated on the US by McDonald’s, in the form of a Happy Meal that includes, as its free “prize”, Hummers.
No, no, no, it’s not that kind of Happy Meal. I’m talking about the SUV here, not the felony. Little toy Hummers in McDonald’s Happy Meals.
Oh goody.
The problem that I have is pretty straightforward. It’s not enough, I guess, that McDonald’s is helping adult Americans become massive coronary-bound fatasses. And I guess it’s not enough that Ronald McFuckwit is actively poisoning the bodies and minds of the up-and-coming future generation of Lardass McOffspring.
The real problem, to me, is that evidently it was deemed desirable in the eyes of McMarketing for Children McPudgemonsters to learn that overconsumption of resources doesn’t need to stop with the piles of fat-, cholesterol- and sodium-drenched slop shoveled before their gaping maws.
Once they’ve eaten to the point of morbid obesity they can pretend to be just like Mom and Dad, climbing into their obscene Hummer Land Pigs and dragging their oversized cheeks across the land, all the while indulging in masturbatory fantasies of McManliness.
(How many of those self-stroking penis compensationmobiles have you ever seen with scratches, mud or dents on them, like they’d actually been driven off-road … oh, I don’t know … ever?)
Shame on McDonald’s for perpetrating this travesty, shame on parents for indulging their whiny brats by killing them with McShit, and shame on anyone who’s ever purchased a Hummer, regardless of the size.
21:35 on February 16th, 2007
[...] I bash kids’ shows regularly and frequently attack religiosity. It’s easy for me to do that, since I don’t have any kids of my own. I can sit on my butt and theorize, and I can talk endlessly about what I’d support or reject in my own kids, if I had any. I thrash McDonald’s, I smoke NBB, I deride and belittle fundamentalism. [...]