While I was shov­elng up pineap­ple, melon and strawb­w­er­ries in the cafeteria’s newly-​​installed fruit bar this morn­ing (and adding some gra­nola and yogurt to the fare), I noticed some pack­ets of honey on the bar’s sides.

I’d never actu­ally been able to find honey in the cafe­te­ria before then, and men­tioned it to the checker at the reg­is­ter, who pointed it out to me. It’s nor­mally hid­den on the cereal cart in the cor­ner. (Duh. Sadly I’ve been to that cart fre­quently in search of bran cere­als; I man­aged to over­look the honey, which I like in my tea, every time.)

After fin­ish­ing my break­fast I began to won­der why the honey wouldn’t be in a more con­spic­u­ous loca­tion — say, next to the sugar, sac­cha­rine and aspar­tame — and came to the con­clu­sion that it’s either

  1. Because there’s not enough room for honey in addi­tion to processed sug­ars and “sweet­en­ers” of dubi­ous safety; or
  2. Because honey can kill infants.

I’d for­got­ten, since I’ve never bred a baby, that babies can get bot­u­lism if they’re fed honey. And this led me to the inescapable con­clu­sion (actu­ally I reach this con­clu­sion quite a lot via many means) that Intelligent Design is clearly bullshit.

The argu­ment goes a lit­tle like this: What kind of Intelligent Designer would cre­ate a nature which con­tains, among many other things, insects that pro­duce deli­cious, high-​​energy fluid — and make that same fluid fatal to infants, whose par­ents would surely love to see their chil­dren hap­pily coo­ing over the won­der­ful taste of honey?

What sort of sick “fuck you, my cre­ations” bas­tardry is that?

So it made sense that the hos­pi­tal might want to tuck honey away; that way peo­ple have to ask for it, and hope­fully any­one answer­ing would notice if the per­son had an infant … and remind that per­son that feed­ing infants honey is a Very Bad Idea.

Of course that doesn’t explain what kind of dis­eased, sadis­tic entity would “design” a world wherein honey is fatal in the first place.

(The thought occurs that some may argue dis­ease came into exis­tence “after the Fall” — so it’s, as usual, all the woman’s fault. Yet more proof that “god” is male, I sup­pose. Everything was going great until that bitch Pandora — oops, I mean Eve — came along and started her meddling.

(But then, since ID is not sup­posed to be linked to Biblical Creationism, I sup­pose no one of any real intel­li­gence would make that argument.

(Further, it could be asserted with much valid­ity that no one with any real intel­li­gence can ever make a pro-​​ID argu­ment, full stop.)


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