I present to you an open let­ter in three parts, a sort of tri­une epis­tle issued in the hope that it will save one, just one of you from the trap of self-​​imposed igno­rance that is reli­gion, par­tic­u­larly the fun­da­men­tal­ist type. Following find my notes on “Intelligent Design”, prayer in school, and the mix of reli­gion with politics.

Intelligent Design is Bullshit

There is sim­ply noth­ing to it, and every­one knows that it’s a Trojan for teach­ing cre­ation­ism as sci­ence. There is no fac­tual sup­port for Intelligent Design, and those who adhere to it are becom­ing increas­ingly known as IDiots, a term I think I might have coined a cou­ple years back.

The fact of evo­lu­tion is sup­ported in more than the fos­sil record; as Richard Dawkins points out, it’s obvi­ous in the genomes of all liv­ing organ­isms, as well as the body-​​plans. The DNA of every liv­ing ani­mal, plant, sapro­phyte, cyanobac­terium and pro­tist on this planet lit­er­ally screams com­mon descent. That is evo­lu­tion, it is a fact, it is a reality.

What is the­o­ret­i­cal is the mech­a­nism that dri­ves the force of evo­lu­tion, much as we’re still the­o­riz­ing about the actual cause of grav­ity. However, no one is stu­pid enough to say that grav­ity is “only a the­ory” — so maybe, just maybe, it’s only the stu­pid who say the same of evolution.

Those of you who lis­ten to author­i­ties who tell you ID is worth pur­su­ing: You are being lied to. Ask your church lead­ers why they are lying to you. Demand that they stop lying to you. You have noth­ing to lose but your ignorance.

Which is not bliss, by the way; it is slavery.

Christ is Not the Answer

In response to the lat­est round of school shoot­ings, Il Duce par­tic­i­pated in a dis­cus­sion forum wherein guns were not men­tioned once, Dana Milbank points out. What was men­tioned was reli­gious twad­dle. Lots of it. Shovelsful of it, in fact. Craig Scott, who is the brother of a girl killed in Columbine in 1999, con­tin­ued the lie that she died for her faith, and then read a bit of doggerel.

When Bush arrived, Craig Scott was invited to speak again. This time, he read a poem he said his father read while appear­ing before a con­gres­sional committee.

You’ve out­lawed sim­ple prayer.

Now gun­shots fill our class­rooms and pre­cious chil­dren die …

You reg­u­late restric­tive law through leg­isla­tive creed, and yet you failed to under­stand that God is what we need.”

Hey, Craig: What about the Amish school? The one full of chil­dren being taught in the Amish way, com­plete with daily prayers and lots of Biblical ref­er­ence? Your sky daddy sure as hell didn’t seem to be on the stick that morn­ing, huh? So how can you even think of sug­gest­ing that a reli­gious tenor in schools is going to help?

Oh, sorry — maybe Amish is the wrong type of reli­gion, huh? Guess it’s a good thing you have all the answers, isn’t it?

Of course, there are sev­eral tens of mil­lions of Christian idiots just like you who think they have all the answers … and their answers won’t match yours.

Stop Stealing Good Men’s Minds

John McCain is the lat­est exam­ple of Christian and right-​​wing droidism. He’s sug­gested he’d be will­ing to speak at Bob Jones University, a vir­u­lent nest of backwards-​​thinking fun­da­men­tal­ist Christian vipers; he voted in sup­port of the bill that sus­pends habeas cor­pus for Il Duce’s polit­i­cal oppo­nents sus­pected ter­ror­ists; he’s mak­ing an ass of him­self by claim­ing Clinton let North Korea slide on nukes — and totally over­look­ing what Duh-​​bya failed to do for the last six years, not even acknowl­edg­ing the fact that Bush him­self asked, in 2000, why he should be wor­ried about North Korea.

This memetic cor­rup­tion is out­ra­geous. While it’s inar­guable that McCain has let him­self be poi­soned, it’s equally unde­ni­able that you fed him the hem­lock to begin with. The intel­lec­tual tox­ins you push — insist­ing that silly super­sti­tions are some­how on par with evidence-​​backed real­ity, for instance; or adher­ence to the utterly ridicu­lous notion that the deity which allegedly cre­ated every­thing looks like a human in every respect, com­plete, pre­sum­ably, with a penis — these crazy, fool­ish notions that are accept­able only to those with the men­tal­ity of a six-​​year-​​old are dri­ving this nation into ruin.

Just as hap­pened in Rome before its down­fall, we have a rash of reli­gious ide­o­logues infest­ing every level of our gov­ern­ment, rot­ting it away from within, and just as with Rome, unless this is stopped, we’ll have a new wave of cru­sades that cul­mi­nate in the estab­lish­ment of a dom­i­neer­ing reli­gion which actively attempts to oppress and destroy every shred of dis­sen­sion for at least half a millennium.

Stop poi­son­ing our world. You are wrong — or at least you should con­sider the pos­si­bil­ity that you might be — and your thug­gery has no place in decent, civ­i­lized, enlight­ened society.

The United States was not founded as a Christian nation; the founders, in fact, very delib­er­ately avoided reli­gious estab­lish­ment. So stop lying about the roots of democ­racy, which is actu­ally founded in the ideals of equal jus­tice, intel­lec­tual hon­esty and edu­ca­tion. Stop try­ing to cor­rupt chil­dren away from their birthright. Stop ruin­ing this country.

If you really want to expe­ri­ence life in a theoc­racy, try liv­ing in Iran for a while.

And please, don’t come back.


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