A favorite hob­by­horse of the Einsatzgruppen-​​ÜberKristians is, as we are all aware to death of, abor­tion. The “rights of the unborn” are so damned impor­tant to these people.

It’s an exten­sion, maybe, of their obses­sion on sex in gen­eral. You’re not sup­posed to fuck any­one until you get mar­ried, and you can only get mar­ried if there’s a des­ig­nated fucker and a des­ig­nated fuc­kee (only one of each, and from the same species and — prefer­ably — eth­nic­ity, or at least within a shade or two of Jesus’ Feet Lily White), nei­ther of whom is ever per­mit­ted to change roles.

Then, after the fuck­ing com­mences, you’d think they’d let well enough alone — but if your rub­ber hap­pens to leak, or you for­get to take a pill (nei­ther of which would be avail­able if the fanat­ics have their way) or your Super Manly Man “for­gets” to pull out or you mis­read your cycle cal­en­dar or your abu­sive boyfriend/​husband/​father refuses to exer­cise even the slight­est bit of self-​​control, the result of the union — whether sanc­ti­fied, forced or inces­tu­ous — is a fully-​​fledged by-​​god human being from the very moment sperm and egg meet. And that means (cue the high-​​impact music and the weepy chil­dren ter­ri­fied that they might never have been born) you can’t abort it, because abor­tion! is! murder!

Of course, once you pop out of the womb, you’re on your own.

Well, one school dis­trict in Texas is work­ing to change that — or it was, until a bunch of bleed­ing heart lib­eral namby-​​pamby soft-​​on-​​school-​​shootings types got in the way.

A sub­ur­ban Fort Worth school dis­trict has halted a pro­gram teach­ing stu­dents to attack a gun­man if he invades a class­room, admin­is­tra­tors said Wednesday.

See, there’s an admin­is­tra­tion that’s using its noo­dle. Why go to the expense of metal detec­tors, or pos­si­bly mon­i­tor­ing stu­dents’ behav­ior to catch poten­tial prob­lems before they actu­ally arise, or — heav­ens — expect par­ents to raise spawn that aren’t mur­der­ous lunatics, or — Heston for­fend! — sug­gest some ratio­nal con­trols on firearm access, when all you have to do is turn infants into infantry?

Robin Browne, an instruc­tor for Response Options, the secu­rity com­pany that pro­vided the train­ing, had rec­om­mended that stu­dents and teach­ers “react imme­di­ately to the sight of a gun by pick­ing up any­thing and every­thing and throw­ing it at the head and body of the attacker and mak­ing as much noise as pos­si­ble. Go toward him as fast as we can and bring them down.”

Yeah, that’s a sen­si­ble thing to do to a lunatic with a firearm. Throw the book at him — lit­er­ally! Then, when he’s both con­fused and pan­icked, charge him! Why not? You know how fast kids can move when they’re really moti­vated? There’s no way he’ll get a chance to squeeze off any rounds, and even if he did his aim would prob­a­bly be pretty bad.

But, true to form, the anti-​​self-​​protection pussies started whin­ing about “child safety” and other such non­sense until they got their way.

Burleson offi­cials fielded calls from par­ents, law enforce­ment offi­cials and other school dis­tricts after the pol­icy made national news ear­lier this month. Some peo­ple expressed fear it would get chil­dren killed.

When will these fools learn? Children Are The Future, and unless we teach that future to risk get­ting itself killed before it even gets a chance to get laid, the ter­ror­ists will have won!

Besides, the Rapture will hap­pen before most of them get their first shitty job at Wal-​​Mart. So why worry?

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