The Indigestible

A favorite hobbyhorse of the Einsatzgruppen-ÜberKristians is, as we are all aware to death of, abortion. The “rights of the unborn” are so damned important to these people.

It’s an extension, maybe, of their obsession on sex in general. You’re not supposed to fuck anyone until you get married, and you can only get married if there’s a designated fucker and a designated fuckee (only one of each, and from the same species and — preferably — ethnicity, or at least within a shade or two of Jesus’ Feet Lily White), neither of whom is ever permitted to change roles.

Then, after the fucking commences, you’d think they’d let well enough alone — but if your rubber happens to leak, or you forget to take a pill (neither of which would be available if the fanatics have their way) or your Super Manly Man “forgets” to pull out or you misread your cycle calendar or your abusive boyfriend/husband/father refuses to exercise even the slightest bit of self-control, the result of the union — whether sanctified, forced or incestuous — is a fully-fledged by-god human being from the very moment sperm and egg meet. And that means (cue the high-impact music and the weepy children terrified that they might never have been born) you can’t abort it, because abortion! is! murder!

Of course, once you pop out of the womb, you’re on your own.

Well, one school district in Texas is working to change that — or it was, until a bunch of bleeding heart liberal namby-pamby soft-on-school-shootings types got in the way.

A suburban Fort Worth school district has halted a program teaching students to attack a gunman if he invades a classroom, administrators said Wednesday.

See, there’s an administration that’s using its noodle. Why go to the expense of metal detectors, or possibly monitoring students’ behavior to catch potential problems before they actually arise, or — heavens — expect parents to raise spawn that aren’t murderous lunatics, or — Heston forfend! — suggest some rational controls on firearm access, when all you have to do is turn infants into infantry?

Robin Browne, an instructor for Response Options, the security company that provided the training, had recommended that students and teachers “react immediately to the sight of a gun by picking up anything and everything and throwing it at the head and body of the attacker and making as much noise as possible. Go toward him as fast as we can and bring them down.”

Yeah, that’s a sensible thing to do to a lunatic with a firearm. Throw the book at him — literally! Then, when he’s both confused and panicked, charge him! Why not? You know how fast kids can move when they’re really motivated? There’s no way he’ll get a chance to squeeze off any rounds, and even if he did his aim would probably be pretty bad.

But, true to form, the anti-self-protection pussies started whining about “child safety” and other such nonsense until they got their way.

Burleson officials fielded calls from parents, law enforcement officials and other school districts after the policy made national news earlier this month. Some people expressed fear it would get children killed.

When will these fools learn? Children Are The Future, and unless we teach that future to risk getting itself killed before it even gets a chance to get laid, the terrorists will have won!

Besides, the Rapture will happen before most of them get their first shitty job at Wal-Mart. So why worry?