Wal-Mart announced today that it’s dropped its bid to open its own line of banks. Citing “manufactured controversy” the retail monolith’s spokespeople denied attempts to impose yet another facet of control over a nation which is already arguably far too Wallified for its own good, instead all but blaming the Librul Medya for their problems.
Ever notice how, when skullduggery and unethical behavor get exposed, it’s somehow the fault of those who shine a light into the nest of cockroaches? Well, Wal-Mart won’t be opening a bank, at least not this year, and it’s pouting as only an underrepresented, powerless, helpless and dirt-poor US megacorporation can.
I’m going to wax elitist in the next graf, so be warned. Feel free to skip ahead if you want.
Considering the caliber of clientele Wal-Mart usually draws, one has to wonder what the hell the company thought it would accomplish. We’re talking people who have trouble with simple one-variable algebra, for non-god’s sake, whose account balances are always three figures if you include the stuff to the right of the decimal, whose checks are generally not merely rubber but actually Flubber. And Wal-Mart thought it could make a viable financial gain from this kind of customer base?
Sneering arrogance aside, though, you have to admit the idea is damned clever. Think about it. All they’d have to do is issue any accountholder a purchase card that links to their bank balance, and can be used at any Wal-Mart checkstand just like a debit card — with, possibly, an option to automatically issue credit overage at an industry-standard APR for predatory lenders, say a nice even 25%. That bulk box of Ding-Dongs doesn’t seem like such a bargain any more, does it?
And, of course, Wal-Mart wouldn’t stop at merely being a savings/checking/moneylender — it would also control mortgages and more.
Wal-Mart can offer future services including mortgages, consumer loans, home equity loans, investment and insurance products and any other type of service or product that the company might develop.
Imagine that. Not only do you shop there, you bank there, you pay them your mortgage and you work there. This transcends creepy and actually becomes a lot more like a truck system — the nineteenth-century habit that some employers had of requiring employees to live in company housing and buy all their goods from the company store. (It’s still going on today, as it happens.)
And you know — you just know — that millions of people would happily queue up for their indenture to Sam Walton’s dreadful legacy.
The danger hasn’t passed, though; Home Depot — another massive chain whose stores resemble aircraft hangars more than retail outlets — is getting ready to acquire an industrial loan business.
I guess what that means is your next Wal-Mart store will be financed by Home Depot.
Am I the only one made intensely uncomfortable at that idea?
10:28 on March 21st, 2007
This is a variation of the idea that people in red states are just too stupid to know what’s good for them. If we could only help to raise their IQ to the level that they stop drooling, they would instantly recognize the truth.
It’s satisfying to think this way. But it’s just not true, and it _doesn’t work_ in reaching your objectives. The first step is understanding that intelligent people, knowing all the facts, can come to differing conclusions — it’s called a difference of opinion.
I have seven years of college education, and I shop at many sorts of stores, but I do love Wal-Mart (and Kmart and Target). If you want a lot of SKUs to choose from, it’s the place to go. For over-the-counter pharmaceuticals, it’s excellent. For inexpensive sneakers, great. Their inventory analysis is great, so that when you go into a Hispanic or Cuban community, the CD selection contains some really great Latin music — and the whole inventory is available for listening by just scanning the bar code, leading to a wonderful chance to discover new music.
Locations may differ, but I find most employees cheerful and helpful, not the sullen, oppressed class that people who don’t shop there would have you believe. Wal-Mart, however, sometimes hire the unhireable. Is that bad? The shrivelled guy in the built-up wheelchair who had some sort of palsy, and took 15 minutes to ring up my purchase. The older, relatively unskilled women returning to the workplace, or the retired elderly men. And it’s the employer of last resort for the super-obese, who should probably check out the affordable organic offerings.