The Indigestible

Liberals seem to piss off the strangest people, you know. But I guess the oddest annoyances come from ostensibly liberal sources themselves.

Back in 1984 Steve Jobs annoyed the living shit out of IBM and the fledgeling Microsoft with a single commercial — one that’s returned in various incarnations over the last 23 years, the latest version an irritant to Hillary Clinton and Barack Obama, more or less equally it seems. Which, when you think about it, is really ironic, since we have 18 or so months more to look forward to from both of them. It’s like raiyaiyaiyain on your wedding day, don’t'cha think?

So anyway I bought an iPod years ago, ca. 2002 or so. This was the technical second-gen machine, the one which had a touch wheel on it instead of the original click wheel, a 10 GB unit, and it still works. I use it all the time. I also have a Shuffle, one of the 512 MB sticks that got replaced lately by the tie-clip version. I like the older one better because it doubles as a USB thumb drive — not that I’ve ever used it as such; I have a 4 GB thumb drive — but still, the potential’s good. It’s also robust, solid-state, and reliable, and I don’t have to worry about cracking a screen like I might with a Nano.

More lately I picked up a 30 GB video iPod, which was a bit of an adventure. I went to Wal-Mart (sorry) with the intention of getting a better, less frustrating clock radio. I tried Walgreens first, but it was a washout.

They had Memorex units on sale that dock with iPods made to handle the connector — the ones released just after my first/second-gen unit, incompatible with any Shuffle model.

Sigh. Upsales work sometimes.

So yes, I got the Memorex station and plopped down some more cash for the iPod Video (I don’t do low-end buys on tech). Brought them both home and opened the iPod’s box, shrink-wrapped and still sealed with the little adhesive dot showing it was pristine, to find inside…

A pack of AA batteries and some gum.

No, that is not a joke, though it really is funny as hell.

Now I don’t care how good the batteries are (they weren’t; they were Panasonic generic carbons) or how great the gum is (it wasn’t; it was a cluster of mini-pak five-stick forgettables); unless they’re packed with free fellatio for life, they’re not worth the cost of a video iPod.

Some telephonic discussion, as you may expect, ensued. Long-short was that I was to take the package back to WallyWorld posthaste, which I did. They looked me over and decided that, since I have all my teeth save one root-canall’d molar and seem to lack the general fug of a crack addict, they’d replace my gum and batteries with the iPod I wanted.

Purchase in hand I loaded my iTunes library into my new toy, deciding to buy a few tracks as well online, whereupon I remembered that I love New Order — I mean, I really, really love New Order; it surprised me hugely to remember how much I loved them when I started listening to the top-20 style tracks I’d got from iTunes. “Blue Monday”, “Run 2″, “Bizarre Love Triangle” and the incomparable “Your Silent Face”* rekindled in me an ancient urge to visit 90s era dance tracks.

Which I assembled, multifariously, in a disco-queen ensemble that I decided to publish as an iMix named, with typically fine-tuned irony, “Who You Callin’ a Fag?”

Well, here’s why. (This is just a partial screenshot.)

These are damn good songs! I looked forward to being able to publish the playlist to anyone who might care, thinking others may agree with my choices or hate them — but it would be interesting to get feedback on it all, no matter what.

I learned tonight my mix was deleted, no comment as to why, no contact made to explain the reason except for a form letter stating the content of the mix might “offend” some customers.

Well, fuck them. Offend this mix, Apple.

I mean shit. These guys publish uncensored South Park — and they’re worried about a quasi-gay 80s and 90s disco mix?

D’you think it was “I Feel Pretty” that did it?

Oh, and for what it’s worth, the clock radio is okay; it has two alarms, a remote (!), and will blast your ass out of bed with a buzzer, radio or your choice from your docked ’pod, but I have one complaint. Even in “dim” mode the display is waaaay motherfuckin’ bright. You can read by this damn thing.

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* I think this is one of the top ten most beautiful pieces of music I’ve ever heard. I’d put it unhesitatingly in the list with Pachelbel’s Kanon, Goo Goo Dolls’s Iris, Rufus Wainwright’s Hallelujah and Beethoven’s Sonata 14, Moonlight.