That was my response to the dis­cov­ery that, some­time when I wasn’t look­ing, some­one jacked up the price of kids’ bed­room fur­ni­ture to gen­uinely over­achiev­ing levels.

Yoshi’s bunk bed got put in this week­end. I got a good base­line price on the frame and dis­cov­ered that while styles var­ied, the costs didn’t. Sigh.

The next deci­sion was mat­tresses. There were foam alter­na­tives (not vis­coelas­tic1) that ran about half the price of full-​​sprung twins, but I wasn’t gonna do that. They’d dete­ri­o­rate too quickly, I think, and besides, Yoshi needs a real bed.

Okay, then there came the sheets, com­forters and pil­lows. Oy. So more than half a thou­sand dol­lars later my son-​​to-​​be at last has a place to sleep2, but that’s about it. Further fur­ni­ture pur­chases will have to wait a cou­ple weeks.

Items still required: A dresser, book­shelves, pos­si­bly a desk; and toy storage.

The book­shelves I’ll par­tially occupy with a starter set of titles, decent sto­ries from sev­eral gen­res to act a lit­tle like a cat­a­lyst. Same for the toy stor­age — Legos, I’m think­ing, but the basic starter sets, because there are mul­ti­ple ways to branch out from there and, as with the read­ing, the expan­sions will be Yoshi’s choice, not mine.

No clothes; with­out know­ing his age and size, that would be vastly pre­ma­ture, and besides he’ll arrive with a few things in hand, as well as funds from the state to get him more imme­di­ately. This means Yoshi’s advent will be fol­lowed imme­di­ately by a shop­ping spree. This time on some­one else’s dime.

I dropped enough this Saturday to cover gro­cery costs for more than a month (and brother, let me tell you, assem­bling a bunk bed all by your­self is hard work), yet my over­rid­ing sense right now is: Whee!

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1. Never vis­coelas­tic. I’ve read far too much about the neg­a­tive phys­i­o­log­i­cal effects of long-​​term expo­sure to the ure­thane com­pounds in the cush­ions; ure­thane is a known car­cino­gen and many peo­ple (myself included) have mild to severe res­pi­ra­tory reac­tions to the damned stuff.

2. He’d bet­ter arrive soon. It’s already becom­ing infested with stuffed ani­mals. At this rate, given the prop­a­ga­tion of bears, dogs, dol­phins and mon­keys, there won’t be room for boy on either bunk.

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