The Indigestible

Because it already didn’t happen.

A West Coast scientist who believes it may be possible to transmit information backwards through time has been funded by individual donations after established mad-scientist groups refused to cough up.

Um … um … established mad-scientist groups?

Oh right, them.

ANYway, if we could send a message back in time, we could stop, oh I don’t know, maybe the last fire at Alexandria (”Don’t light the match!”) or the stupidity that was most of the twentieth century (”Avoid Hitler, look out for chickens with a cough, and fuck pretty much everything you hear from 1946 onward”), or gee, I don’t know, recent years (”It wasn’t iraq, you fucking goddamn useless wannabe Texan inbred retard, fuck you and your pissing contest with your dad, you both suck, and history will have a really fucking hard time deciding who was the shittiest president ever — ha ha, no, lie, it’s you, duh-bya, you’re worthless and we, the denizens of the future, wish you had choked on that pretzel”).

Seriously. If we could send a message back through time, what could possibly explain the fustercluck that has been, gee, everything we’ve ever experienced ever, in history?

So it’s obvious that this guy’s time travel thing never worked, just like everyone else’s never will have. It’s cute fantasy, especially when it includes David Tennant — a cute fantasy indeed — but it just. never. happened.

If it had, we’d have nothing to discuss.

Jeez, don’t you love Apriil Fools’ Day jokes?

Well, I do, if I have a chance to post images like this one, and especially link to them twice in the same article.