So CNN is suck­ing Bill off.

Some say his wealth and famous oppor­tunism are rem­i­nis­cent of the rob­ber barons of yore. Yet here is a man who has set a goal to erad­i­cate malaria. Rich as he is — his net worth is an esti­mated $50 bil­lion — you can’t call the man greedy when he has pledged to give back to human­ity all but a tiny frac­tion of 1% of that fortune.

Nutgraf aside, Bill Gates is a thief, self-​​aggrandizer and gen­eral all-​​around bas­tard. His steal­ing of DOS is a leg­endary tale; his knowl­edge in 1994 that Win95 would be a virus test bed of an OS is a mat­ter of record; his cal­lous dis­re­gard for aes­thet­ics is obvi­ous in every OS MS has ever made. To lion­ize him now and make him into a busi­ness poster boy is a bit like pro­mot­ing Michelle Malkin as an ideal com­men­ta­tor, human being and Christian. In order to make it pos­si­ble, you have to over­look basi­cally every­thing that’s known, dis­re­gard years of recorded truth, and for­give every likely plau­si­ble future trans­gres­sion as well.

But in the Land of the Buck, where the most prof­itable cor­po­ra­tions in the last five years are all war prof­i­teers (cf. Blackwater et. al.), I sup­pose MS is close to soft­core porn for econ­o­mists and those who like their money just a bit less bloody.

The fact that Bill likes to read and drive is just the iceberg’s tip. He’s a manip­u­lat­ing, schem­ing, greedy bas­tard who doesn’t spend one moment think­ing about any­one but him­self. If he’d been killed by a mete­orite strike in 1991, you would not today have to scan every email you receive for viruses (Mac and Linux users still don’t); he doesn’t give a shit in an out­house for what the rest of the world has to tol­er­ate on his behalf under the tyranny of the worst OS in recorded his­tory; and no amount of gilded sto­ry­telling will change the reality.

This is why no one with an MBA is fit to do any­thing but sit in a cor­ner, drool and have baby food admin­is­tered thrice daily via mouth syringe. My sin­gle sole hur­dle every day in exe­cut­ing my work is some tard with an MBA who thinks his abil­ity to obfus­cate the most trans­par­ent sen­tences (“We’re lever­ag­ing our assets to craft a memo on that topic at this moment” as opposed to “I’ll put it on a sticky note”) is some­how wor­thy of respect.

It was mar­ketroids that made Gates; it was mar­ketroids that drank the MS Kool-​​aid.

I hate being a graph­ics nerd in a non-​​Mac world; but more, I hate being a code geek on an MS-​​ruled planet.

As an engi­neer, Windows offends because it’s awk­ward, clumsy and needy. It’s like a small child who, while you’re try­ing to have a con­ver­sa­tion, keeps pes­ter­ing you with “mom mom mom, look at me mom, look at what I’m doing, hey mom, hey mom, hey look at me, are you watch­ing me, hey mom, mom, hey lookit this, hey mom, hey mom lookit this, are you watch­ing, hey mom, mom, mom…”

(“Click OK to continue”)

As an artist, it offends me even more. MS is guilty of being ugly as a mule fuck­ing a woman.

A scrawny mule. With mange.

Fuck Bill Gates, fuck his read-​​and-​​drive habit, fuck any­one who ever tries to defend him, and fuck his dirty money. And fuck CNN for turn­ing him into a liv­ing mar­tyr to capitalism’s most obscene, under-​​the-​​table excesses. I hope he dies fast. Like metasta­tic pan­cre­atic can­cer fast.

We never needed him, and we god­damn sure don’t need more like him.

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