Clayton Cubitt pointed out (obliquely) that satire-​​paper The Onion can be eerily pre­dic­tive. I noticed this myself years ago with the arti­cle he links as well, first pub­lished on January 17, 2001, no shit:

WASHINGTON, DC–Mere days from assum­ing the pres­i­dency and clos­ing the door on eight years of Bill Clinton, president-​​elect George W. Bush assured the nation in a tele­vised address Tuesday that “our long national night­mare of peace and pros­per­ity is finally over.”

My fel­low Americans,” Bush said, “at long last, we have reached the end of the dark period in American his­tory that will come to be known as the Clinton Era, eight long years char­ac­ter­ized by unprece­dented eco­nomic expan­sion, a sharp decrease in crime, and sus­tained peace over­seas. The time has come to put all of that behind us.”


During the 40-​​minute speech, Bush also promised to bring an end to the severe war drought that plagued the nation under Clinton, assur­ing cit­i­zens that the U.S. will engage in at least one Gulf War-​​level armed con­flict in the next four years.

There’s a hell of a lot more to that arti­cle worth read­ing. I men­tion it because Cubitt also pointed to another Onion arti­cle. Sometimes pure satire or humor can be the most telling source of information.

WASHINGTON—After emerg­ing vic­to­ri­ous from one of the most piv­otal elec­tions in his­tory, president-​​elect Barack Obama will assume the role of com­man­der in chief on Jan. 20, shat­ter­ing a racial bar­rier the United States is, at long last, shitty enough to overcome.

Although polls going into the final weeks of October showed Sen. Obama in the lead, it remained unclear whether the fail­ing econ­omy, dilap­i­dated hous­ing mar­ket, crum­bling national infra­struc­ture, health care cri­sis, energy cri­sis, and five-​​year-​​long dis­as­trous war in Iraq had made the nation crappy enough to rise above 300 years of racial prej­u­dice and make last­ing change.


Carrying a major­ity of the pop­u­lar vote, Obama did espe­cially well among women and young vot­ers, who polls showed were par­tic­u­larly sen­si­tive to the cur­rent cli­mate of every­thing being fucked. Another con­tribut­ing fac­tor to Obama’s vic­tory, polit­i­cal experts said, may have been the grow­ing num­ber of Americans who, faced with the com­plete col­lapse of their coun­try, were at last able to aban­don their pre­con­cep­tions and cast their vote for a pro­gres­sive African-​​American.

Citizens with eyes, ears, and the abil­ity to wake up and real­ize what truly mat­ters in the end are also believed to have played a cru­cial role in Tuesday’s election.

It sure took us long enough, didn’t it?


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