But that’s all right.

She did an amaz­ing, very coura­geous thing over the week­end of the Fourth: She went to Phoenix and met my folks.

Now you have to under­stand some­thing. The arro­gance and sharp sense of humor evinced herein is come by hon­estly. I got it from my dad, who got it from my Grampie. (Though it was my Grammie that got me into Godzilla, so … well.)

Over the Fourth of July week­end she was a hit. Got on beau­ti­fully with the most prickly parts of me pa and his fore­bears. On the Monday of our tak­ing leave, she hit it out of the park when one of them made a com­ment about some­one not being so bright, and she flicked at an imag­i­nary bulb and said “tink tink”.

My half brother, in his laugh­ter, looked at me in some­thing like envy. How, really, how? Really? he seemed to be saying.

I’m still not sure myself.

My dad got it right when he said, “You did far bet­ter than you deserve.”


I’ve never won any­thing sig­nif­i­cant. I’ve never done well at slots, and I don’t even man­age to win those silly scratch card things they give you some­times at the checkouts.

When I played Magic: The Gathering reg­u­larly, it was leg­endary how crappy my luck was. In sealed deck tour­na­ments, I always ended up with crap for rares in my booster packs, while right beside me oth­ers got rag­ing good cards. The clos­est I ever got to a vic­tory came when I teamed up with another player, and I’m pretty sure I was drag­ging him down.

I don’t bother at all with the lot­tery, because it’s pretty clear I just can’t win.


If there is such a thing as a bank of luck, and you have a life­time over which to with­draw from it, seems pretty clear to me that I’ve hit the per­fect jackpot.

I’ve never won a $60mln lotto prize. Nor do I expect to. And I will not press my luck at all, ever again. My betrothed is far more valu­able than any scratch ticket can ever be, more than a box of rares, more than a clus­ter of six numbers.

As the Mormons might say, a pearl of great price.

I’ve never won the lot­tery, and when I press my ear to her beside me, and hear her heart beat­ing inside her, this unut­ter­ably sweet tol­er­ant and patient lover rest­ing calmly and warm in my life and in my arms — well, okay then.

Screw the lotto. I’ve won. I have won.


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