But that’s all right.
She did an amazing, very courageous thing over the weekend of the Fourth: She went to Phoenix and met my folks.
Now you have to understand something. The arrogance and sharp sense of humor evinced herein is come by honestly. I got it from my dad, who got it from my Grampie. (Though it was my Grammie that got me into Godzilla, so … well.)
Over the Fourth of July weekend she was a hit. Got on beautifully with the most prickly parts of me pa and his forebears. On the Monday of our taking leave, she hit it out of the park when one of them made a comment about someone not being so bright, and she flicked at an imaginary bulb and said “tink tink”.
My half brother, in his laughter, looked at me in something like envy. How, really, how? Really? he seemed to be saying.
I’m still not sure myself.
My dad got it right when he said, “You did far better than you deserve.”
I’ve never won anything significant. I’ve never done well at slots, and I don’t even manage to win those silly scratch card things they give you sometimes at the checkouts.
When I played Magic: The Gathering regularly, it was legendary how crappy my luck was. In sealed deck tournaments, I always ended up with crap for rares in my booster packs, while right beside me others got raging good cards. The closest I ever got to a victory came when I teamed up with another player, and I’m pretty sure I was dragging him down.
I don’t bother at all with the lottery, because it’s pretty clear I just can’t win.
If there is such a thing as a bank of luck, and you have a lifetime over which to withdraw from it, seems pretty clear to me that I’ve hit the perfect jackpot.
I’ve never won a $60mln lotto prize. Nor do I expect to. And I will not press my luck at all, ever again. My betrothed is far more valuable than any scratch ticket can ever be, more than a box of rares, more than a cluster of six numbers.
As the Mormons might say, a pearl of great price.
I’ve never won the lottery, and when I press my ear to her beside me, and hear her heart beating inside her, this unutterably sweet tolerant and patient lover resting calmly and warm in my life and in my arms — well, okay then.
Screw the lotto. I’ve won. I have won.
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