I know it’s not really fair to rip on clipart, because it’s such a mixed bag, and particularly since I’m not the best freehand artist to begin with. It’s hard to feel safe in my little glass house. Photography and vector art seem more my forté. But every once in a while I run into something that just makes me roll my eyes.
Today, I got three.
Here’s what one illustrator thought of when she or he heard the word “strength”:
My strongity strongitude is so strong that I can lift this barbell made of pure uranium! Clipart is a quick way to get things done, but come on. Even I have some standards.
On a related search I was looking for images that went with “strong” and ended up seeing … well, this:
The list of things that make my eyes jitter in this image is brief but profound. For starters, I can see the Schwarzenegger thighs suggesting strength, but I’ve seen some women who were bodybuilders, and they just don’t look like that. Is that muscle, or scar tissue?
And what explains the total lack of definition elsewhere? How can you get quads (?) that big, and even a hint of biceps, without something happening to your lats and abs? Was she the survivor of a bizarre accident that required surgical replacement of her torso?
Last, and possibly the most significant — why is she topless?
You just know this was drawn by a man. If you consider the definition of “man” to include fantasy-prone twelve-year-olds.
The final image, the hat trick, was what surfaced on a search for “fitness”. I guess we know what Cathy Guisewite will be doing with all her free time.
Obviously Cathy finally dumped Irving and moved in with Marcie, after she found Peppermint Patty doing it doggy-style with Snoopy. Presumably Patty was wearing a double-ended strapon at the time.*
* With no apologies whatsoever to Charles Schulz. You put it out there, man.
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