Chuck Asay is one of those old-​​timey white guys who has more than out­lived his use­ful­ness to the planet. Born in 1942, he’s the direct ben­e­fi­ciary of most of the social-​​support sys­tems that were erected dur­ing his youth, those same sys­tems he wants to see dis­man­tled now in the name of “con­ser­vatism” and — prob­a­bly — that odi­ous vari­ety of pseudo-​​libertarianism which is really just a thin veneer of legit­i­macy mask­ing a rapa­cious, pig-​​ignorant selfishness.

With his lat­est car­toon, though, he really pushed my but­tons. Behold the quin­tes­sence of sub­hu­man dip­shit­tery con­tained in his “art”:

Yes. This hydro­cephalic pre-​​sapient has actu­ally made the sug­ges­tion that gays in the mil­i­tary will spend all their time grop­ing their com­rades, in direct con­tra­ven­tion of the stated views of the major­ity of the ser­vice­men and women he pre­sumes to be speak­ing for. In other words, he is impos­ing his views on oth­ers — the very behav­ior he allegedly protests against so often in other odi­ous works, such as when he decries the “social­ism” of national health care.

Interestingly enough, he hasn’t both­ered to car­toon about women get­ting felt up by men, and their responses — start­ing with a knee to the groin, per­haps. Obviously, then, body bound­aries aren’t his con­cern. He just doesn’t like the icky feel­ings (and, prob­a­bly, the tin­gle Down There) that he gets when­ever he thinks about men doing the happy-​​slap. Which, appar­ently, he thinks about a lot more than most of the rest of the armed forces. And for the record, it’s not the major­ity of Marines that object to gays in ser­vice; it’s about 30%.

Even sex­ual assault isn’t his focus, of course; he’s sug­gest­ing that the ever-​​so-​​promiscuous (and there­fore icky) homo­sex­u­als are inca­pable of any sort of self-​​restraint, and will be unable to con­trol their urges. Because when he imag­ines him­self in a room­ful of hunky naked men, Asay gets all sweaty and his palms get clammy, and he believes his feel­ings are naughty. Therefore, no one else is allowed to have them, either.*

Mr. Asay is old enough to be my father. As such he is old enough to know bet­ter. He should be ashamed of him­self. Unfortunately, telling him so is dif­fi­cult, since he hides his online pres­ence, pre­sum­ably because he’s not inter­ested in dia­logue; he just wants to declaim his beliefs as deific per­ora­tions from an unas­sail­able tower.

That means he’s not just a bigot or a homo­phobe. He’s a bigot, a homo­phobe, and a cow­ard.

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* If he can make assump­tions, so can I. Homophobes gen­er­ally fall into the “protest too much” crowd.

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