You might have seen this before.

It’s sup­posed to be Ben Franklin’s daily sched­ule, and it’s used all the time by can-​​do types who want to make you feel inad­e­quate, because look at all the stuff Ben Franklin was able to get done before you’ve even shaved that three-​​day growth or changed out of your PJs you under­achiev­ing no-​​good slacker slug.

Twaddle, says I, twaddle.

What all these moti­va­tional types lose sight of (one of the things they lose sight of) is that Ben Franklin was a famous wom­an­izer. When he was made US Ambassador to France,* he man­aged to avail him­self of the relaxed French sex­ual morés, and did con­sort lo most lustily with any­one within eyesight.

Well, I’ve uncov­ered Franklin’s real daily sched­ule. It should offer some insight into how he was able to accom­plish so much in one day, and give us all some­thing to strive toward.

Next time some busy­body wants to moti­vate you to greater things, whip out your copy of Franklin’s timetable, and watch their fer­vor van­ish. You’re welcome.


* He really was.


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