2
May
Post number 256 (new today!) at XKCD is a map of online communities. And it’s pretty keeno.
So what part of the ’net are you from?
Over the years we’ve been treated to a lot of reasons why we’re not supposed to use illegal drugs, though most of those reasons are pretty damn silly. The most recent spate of cheesily-animated anti-pot ads are even trying to suggest that marijuana is addictive. It’s not.
And of course Nancy Reagan, wife of useless (and now dead*) president Ronald Reagan, coined the “Just Say No” phrase, which probably stands as a high-water mark in the history of cortex-free attempts at social engineering.
But I think I’ve finally hit upon the very best reason not to use hard drugs ever.
“The strangest thing I’ve tried to snort? My father. I snorted my father,” [Stones guitarist Keith] Richards was quoted as saying by British music magazine NME.
I’ve never really felt tempted to use cocaine. Given the foregoing, that lack of temptation has become considerably more like ewwwww, fuck no.
Thanks, Keith.
====
* Thus, slightly more useful now.
Wal-Mart announced today that it’s dropped its bid to open its own line of banks. Citing “manufactured controversy” the retail monolith’s spokespeople denied attempts to impose yet another facet of control over a nation which is already arguably far too Wallified for its own good, instead all but blaming the Librul Medya for their problems.
Ever notice how, when skullduggery and unethical behavor get exposed, it’s somehow the fault of those who shine a light into the nest of cockroaches? Well, Wal-Mart won’t be opening a bank, at least not this year, and it’s pouting as only an underrepresented, powerless, helpless and dirt-poor US megacorporation can.
I’m going to wax elitist in the next graf, so be warned. Feel free to skip ahead if you want.
Considering the caliber of clientele Wal-Mart usually draws, one has to wonder what the hell the company thought it would accomplish. We’re talking people who have trouble with simple one-variable algebra, for non-god’s sake, whose account balances are always three figures if you include the stuff to the right of the decimal, whose checks are generally not merely rubber but actually Flubber. And Wal-Mart thought it could make a viable financial gain from this kind of customer base?
Sneering arrogance aside, though, you have to admit the idea is damned clever. Think about it. All they’d have to do is issue any accountholder a purchase card that links to their bank balance, and can be used at any Wal-Mart checkstand just like a debit card — with, possibly, an option to automatically issue credit overage at an industry-standard APR for predatory lenders, say a nice even 25%. That bulk box of Ding-Dongs doesn’t seem like such a bargain any more, does it?
14
Mar
I wrote last week about John Couey, the man who raped and then killed a nine-year-old girl, from the context in favor of his receiving the death penalty — not an easy view for me to take, but in this case I felt that was the most sensible approach.
He’s been recommended for death as of today.
The jury, on a 10-2 vote, brushed aside pleas for mercy and a life sentence from defense lawyers based on claims that John Evander Couey, 48, is mentally retarded and suffers from chronic mental illness. Jurors, the same ones who convicted him last week, deliberated for about one hour.
The judge doesn’t have to go with the jury’s decision, but ideally he will.
There’s no cause to celebrate this. But there’s no reason to stop it from happening either. There is no hope that this man can redeem his crime and there is no reason to keep him on the planet.
Actually this isn’t about the FSM; it’s about Momofuku Ando.
Who, you ask? Who’s that?
The inventor of ramen noodles, I answer.
Oh, you say, nonplussed. Well, what about him?
He’s dead, I tell you. He was 96.
The family asks that in lieu of flowers, unused seasoning packets be sent.
His body will be dehydrated, broken in half, immersed in boiling water, then interred in a private bowl.
5
Jan
John Negroponte’s backing down as Director of National Intelligence left a vacuum Bush has decided to fill with Mike McConnell, who is apparently so much more qualified to occupy the post that one has to wonder why the hell Bush didn’t pick him first.
“He served as director of the National Security Agency in the 1990’s,” Mr. Bush said. “He was the intelligence officer for the chairman of the Joint Chiefs of Staff during the liberation of Kuwait in Operation Desert Storm.”
Although he has been a private consultant for the last decade, Mr. McConnell said he had stayed in touch with intelligence agencies and issues.
His work, he said, “has allowed me to stay focused on national security and intelligence communities as a strategist and as a consultant. Therefore, in many respects, I never left.”
Meanwhile Il Duce is changing out a lot of the old Iraqi guard. Some of it is due to retirement — but as the Beeb notes, the timing sure is convenient. I guess this is the Textard’s way of trying to smokescreen. Look, I’m not staying the course; I’m surging and stuff, and we’re changing out the generals, so it’s all different now.
No, George, it’s no different at all. You’re just going to try to get away with gimping along for another 18 months or so … and then you’ll be able to dump the entire steaming mess of shit in the next poor bastard’s lap.
At this rate, that’ll only be another 2,000 or so American kids killed because of your unwillingness to accept personal responsibility for your stupidity and pigheadedness.
29
Dec
Ordinarily I delve into Nickelodeon because I’m surfing on a lazy Sunday, and lacking substance in the form of Grim Adventures or a nice block of Mythbusters I find myself tossing about in the world of SpongeBob. (Ben 10 is tolerable, but only just barely, and I wonder how long it’ll take for Ben/Gwen hentai to hit the net, assuming it hasn’t already.*)
So this last weekend I stumbled across an almost Beatlesish song called “Crazy Car”, which I admit has a good hook and is nicely rendered, and learned it’s a preliminary to a new show on Nick that is debuting in late January, something they call The Naked Brothers Band.
Which would be cute, but the brothers in question are aged eleven and eight. The first two names that came to my mind were Michael Jackson and Mark Foley. (As in “NBB was directed by … and produced by…” respectively.) Naked Brothers Band … Is it really possible that no one at Nickelodeon thought, Hey, maybe we could call the show anything else at all?
A once-over of the Web page tells me not much, but I can infer a great deal; this is basically a warmed-over Partridge Family for tweens. It seems inane and insipid, but geared toward doing what parents want least to have happen: Giving moisties to their ten-year-old daughters.**
28
Dec
…And so were most of us. 95% of all Americans have had premarital sex, according to a study (which was longitudinal, by the way) by the Guttmacher Institute.
The study, examining how sexual behavior before marriage has changed over time, was based on interviews conducted with more than 38,000 people — about 33,000 of them women — in 1982, 1988, 1995 and 2002 for the federal National Survey of Family Growth. According to Finer’s analysis, 99 percent of the respondents had had sex by age 44, and 95 percent had done so before marriage.
This would tend to fly in the face of right-wing fanatics’ claims that premarital sex is somehow aberrant, abnormal or wrong; and of course it’s worth pointing out that for the first hundred thousand years (at least) of our existence as a species, everyone was having premarital sex — because the “institution” of marriage hadn’t been invented.
Oh, and by the way, roughly 30% of the US population lays claim to right-wing fanatical beliefs. Yet according to Guttmacher, a significant percentage of those very people must also have engaged in premarital sex:
Even among a subgroup of those who abstained from sex until at least age 20, four-fifths had had premarital sex by age 44, the study found.
Apparently getting full of the Holy Spirit inures one to a sense of hypocrisy.
26
Dec
This is your open thread. Say what you want to say, post what you want to post — just don’t threaten anyone. We Don’t Do That Here.™
26
Dec
…I’m not a professional photographer, Santa or father of infants/toddlers. (Via the LA Times)
The look on Santa’s face says enough.
Enjoy the season, all.
It’s astounding sometimes how utterly duplicitous the right-wingers are. They can be completely shameless in their antics. Right now over on Pharyngula, PZ’s critique of a hypocritical loony has fomented a minor war in the comments, much of which overlooks the point of Myers’s original post: That anyone who’s white, Christian, male, making a lot of money and invited to speak at university seminars is hardly entitled to call himself oppressed.
Of course much of this is lost on the trolls; but then, I think many of them would be stunned to realize Earth is more than 6,000 years old.
On other parochial fronts is yet more manifestation of stupidity, though it seems the fanatics are losing out in Arizona. 56% of those polled recently oppose the constitutional amendment that would ban same-sex marriage; 14% are undecided. This means a solid 30% are pro-bigotry, whch is a surprisingly small number given the very red nature of the state.
But still, there’s duplicity to be found. On the one side you have rightie whining about same-sex marriage; they insist, for absolutely no rational reason whatsoever, that marriage (1) needs to be defended; and (2) is to be between one man and one woman.
As to point 1, I agree, but I actually happen to have a rational reason.
Whenever you hear about a teenaged girl allegedly being forced into an abortion, your antennae have just got to go up. We’re talking about a controversial medical procedure that most people probably don’t undertake electively to begin with — that is, I suspect most women having abortions don’t actually want to be having an abortion — so there’s always an element of whaaaaaaat? when you learn of an apparent attempt at a forced procedure.
Katelyn Kampf, The teen in question here, is actually 19, which makes it even stranger. She was allegedly kidnapped in Maine, the aim being to transport her to New York where the procedure would be performed. How the alleged kidnappers planned to force a legal adult to undergo an abortion out of state is a question for the trial, I suppose.
But the oddest thing about it?
The alleged kidnappers and would-be abortion proponents were the girl’s own parents.
