Archive for the ‘Snarks’ Category

iTunes pricing: not the news

While the new three-​​​​level pric­ing on iTunes is mar­gin­ally inter­est­ing, of much greater impor­tance is that iTunes is ter­mi­nat­ing DRM. You can upgrade all the songs in your library pur­chased from them to DRM-​​​​free ver­sions à la iTunes Plus.1 About time, too. DRM is for teh shite­heads. ==== 1. At 94 items to upgrade (sin­gles and […]

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Who says Islam is sexist?

How can it be when they’re using women as sui­cide bombers? I sup­pose the burqas and veils make the bombs eas­ier to hide. And what do their 72 vir­gins look like? Late-​​​​teen pre­ma­ture ejaculators?

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That Explains the Rictus

MSNBC passes along the “news” that Laura Bush will go under the knife Saturday. Tragically it’s not an ass­holec­tomy, so we’re still gonna be stuck with George; no, she’s going to have work done on some pinched nerves in her neck. That might go a long way toward explain­ing the bizarre lack of abil­ity her face seems […]

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Colonoscopy Completed, Unsuccessful

Despite hours of con­certed effort by sev­eral proc­tol­o­gists, President Bush’s colonoscopy proved unsuc­cess­ful. “We were unable to locate the president’s head,” said Dr. Ken K. Coldfinger. “We have no idea where it might be now.” However, Coldfinger noted that the pro­ce­dure was not a com­plete fail­ure. “At least we were able to remove the vice-president’s arm,” he said.

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Naked Brothers Band Having Sex With Their Preteen Lolita Phone Numbers Boys and Girls Naked Hentai!

Just fuck­ing with the inlink stats. Christ, I’m tired of get­ting hits from pervs look­ing for pre­teen porn just because I posted some­thing on NBB n+now fuck­ing months ago. I get search hits for hen­tai, naked broth­ers band hav­ing sex, boys and girls hav­ing sex and other things even less savory. My one NBB post is […]

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Supreme Court: US Government in Violation of Antitrust Laws

WASHINGTON — In a land­mark rul­ing today, the Supreme Court found 9–0 that the United States fed­eral gov­ern­ment was in vio­la­tion of antitrust laws and ordered it bro­ken up imme­di­ately. Writing for the major­ity, Antonin Scalia had this to say. His words are offered with­out fur­ther com­ment. ==== The def­i­n­i­tion of a monop­oly is well-​​​​established and has […]

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Prayin’ In the Land Down Unda

TOAD SUCK, AR — Cloyd Jackson is just like any other Arkansan who’s felt the hand of God: He’s a man with a lit­eral — and lit­er­al­ist — mis­sion. Founder and First Pope of the Righteous Church of Fosterology, Jackson appears to be a more or less unas­sum­ing man liv­ing a mod­est life just beyond his means in a twelve-​​​​foot […]

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Chaos Reigns as Dire Predictions All Prove True

WASHINGTON — President George Bush urged the nation to calm today in the wake of the com­plete chaos and social break­down which took place a mere two days after the Democratic takeover of con­gress. “I want to assure the American peo­ple that their lead­er­ship is still intact, and that we’re already tak­ing mea­sures to quell the […]

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Bush: We Must Fight the Terror Birds There, to Avoid Fighting Them Here

WASHINGTON — President George W. Bush said today that he was “gravely con­cerned” about intel­li­gence reports sug­gest­ing that South America was pro­vid­ing sanc­tu­ary to ter­ror­ism. “I was watch­ing that crazy beasts show on Discovery and they talked about these ter­ror birds,” Bush said. “Did you know they eat horses? Whoo boy, I wouldn’t want to have […]

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Create Your Own Slogan!

Pam @ House Blend passes on a lovely story about courts. A branch of the Sea Scouts — Boy Scouts with water wings, it seems — in California has been denied use of pub­lic berthing facil­i­ties because of the BSA’s openly dis­crim­i­na­tory stance against gays and athe­ists. The case was tossed out of court; appar­ently big­otry is […]

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Safer?

Small plane crashes into NYC build­ing. Hey, Mr. “tough on ter­ror” Republican: How, exactly, have we become safer from air­borne attack since 11 September 2001?

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Halfstart

Denny Hastert is now say­ing that he’ll fire any­one involved in the page scan­dal cover-​​​​up. Is he still eli­gi­ble for ben­e­fits if he fires himself?

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